Savoring that after-world bittersweet
A new release appears! TLDR, you can find it here.
So, it’s done. Eternal Queen’s Skies, the story of Jonelise, a possessed farmgirl turned heroine and her friends…
I’m happy, because I finally got to finish it. To resurrect it and give it the polish it always deserved. And because we really could use some money for food and rent and medicine, which I really hope this release represents.
But mostly, I’m more than a little sad.
The end of Jone’s story is the cumulation of a two year plus creative journey for me. What started with a surprise invitation into the first LGBT Kindle world (which I had no ideas for and almost gave up on) turned into an entire series I was passionate about.
Not an entire series.
An entire world.
As I wrote, as I imagined, Jonelise and her friends came to life behind my screen, beneath the rapid clicking of my keyboard. In my quiet moments, my thoughts turned to her story. It demanded my attention.
If any of you reading this create stories, create characters, or get deeply invested in those you identify with from media or fiction, you’ll understand. Jone, Adie, Sam, Esmie, and Rote… they came alive to me, and I poured a portion of myself into them in return.
In the end, we wrote the books together.
And in the short time allotted to me, I did the best I could at the time, and published their story.
But it wasn’t good enough.
Kindle Worlds languished. No one saw her or read her story. And what’s worse, it was incomplete; with everything on my plate at the time, I hadn’t been able to finish the story the way I wanted. I dwelled on the mistake I felt I could never correct, and felt like I’d let those little people in my head down.
And then, Kindle Worlds died.
The project was shut down. The rights reverted. And I got my second chance.
So, as soon as my current Ashes book was complete, I outlined the next and put some work into it… and then paused. Because I couldn’t put Jonelise off any longer.
I re-wrote her story (quite a bit of new material was added). I made it better, with more time and the lessons I’d learned and refined over the last couple of years. I polished her. I added more, and I added back in the bits I’d always wanted from the beginning.
It wasn’t always easy, and it didn’t go as quickly as I’d imagined, but I did it.
I gave them the ending they deserved.
And then it was over.
It hit me in a wave the final two nights. There would be no more Jonelise, no witty banter with Rote, no loving embrace with Adrienne. No more sexy misadventures with Esmeralda and Bellamy.
I was done, and the story was out…and I felt a little hollow inside. I’d poured my story out onto the page, and a little bit of myself had gone with it.
I felt (and currently still do) a bit empty and sad. How many hours had I shared with these people? Does the fact that they aren’t real or exterior to myself matter? In a way, they were my friends too, and our journey together was over.
Is this normal? Maybe. Do I care? Nah. It is what it is.
Now I have to move on. It’s finally time. At least now, I have no regrets, other than the fact that it is over. Time to write more Ashes, to work on other things.
But no matter what else I do, how much other projects may eclipse her… I think I’ll always have a little spot in my heart for Jonelise of Arcadia and her crazy friends.
And if you read her story too, thank you.
Thank you for helping me give them a bit of life.
I, at least, think they deserved it.